Goodnight Mom

My kids are toddlers and they have big feelings. Big fucking feelings. Both of them at age 3 and 1 are expressing those emotions on levels that seem absurd to me. One minute they’re running back and forth laughing and screaming with joy together. The next they’re fighting over a toy, and whoever loses acts like their whole tiny life is over. This is normal. It’s normal for toddlers to have big feelings, and it’s absolutely normal that they don’t know how to handle it. And do you know what else is normal? That I don’t know how to handle it. Little Monster An Example… A few weeks ago, I picked up Max and Nico from school/daycare and we had a good time on the long car ride home (30 mins, they get a snack). Once in the house, we played for a while and then I began to make dinner. I told Max he could watch his favorite show - Spidey and his Amazing Friends - while we ate. Sometimes this helps get him to the table and actually eat. When I sat down with them to eat, Max decided he didn’t li...

A recent study puts the average cost of raising a child at $20,813 annually. The Bay Area (San Francisco, Oakland, Berkeley) was listed as the number one most expensive place to raise a child in the USA. Here they calculate the average annual cost of raising a child to be $35,647. That’s more than the starting salary at the first office job I had in the States (in 2012)! Plenty is written about the financial costs of raising children. Some articles are about the overall cost of raising children , others focus more specifically on the cost of childcare . The case of childcare costs is complex. Parents need childcare in order to work, but are they earning enough money to cover the cost of childcare? Can it be justified? I wanted to write more about the emotional rollercoaster of hiring childcare, specifically occasional babysitters. Friends of mine with young kids, and myself, have experienced so many difficulties finding adequate and reliable childcare. Especially for babysitting, when...

This is part two in a series about our experience hosting an au pair through Au Pair Care. You can read the first part here . In October, 2022, we welcomed our au pair, M, into our family. She lived with us for 4 months. In that time, she provided excellent childcare. We got to know her and learned so much about Turkey. I started Turkish language lessons on Duolingo so I could say good morning and “how are you?”  in her language. I think my attempts to remember the pronunciations tickled her. I was also learning strange sentences, like “Tavşan kaplumbağayı yedi.” It was a fun thing to bond over!  M brought us a beautiful Turkish coffee set when she came and would often brew me a cup while I was working in the apartment. Keeping me caffeinated! I especially loved the Turkish food she occasionally prepared. I still like to cook lentil soup (Kırmızı Mercimek Çorbası), which was her favorite, and a tomato and white bean stew (Fasulye).   Being an Au Pair Mom There were a lo...