This is part two of Introducing Nico to the World, read part one here! I will warn you up here that I will talk about the surgery. So feel free to skip this post, or just fast forward to the delivery section if you get creeped out!
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| Leaving the hospital together |
Surgery
I was most nervous about the process of being anesthetized for the operation. For cesarean sections, you receive a “spinal”: an anesthetic is injected into the fluid surrounding the nerve that runs along your spine. This is different from an epidural that many women receive during labor. The spinal injection is deeper, closer to the nerve and works almost instantly for a finite amount of time (1-2 hours). Epidurals take 10-15 minutes to kick in, and are often set up with a catheter so that that medication can continue to be infused (like having a top up!).
In the UK the spinal procedure had taken a long time and at one point I felt a pain run down my back and into my left butt. I alerted them to this, and they had to re-do the injection. The doctor had to reposition the needle. As a result, I had a huge bruise on my back for over a week. I remember that being one of the more painful side effects following the operation.
This time, it took less than 5 minutes. I was shocked when the doctor told me I could lie down. I was so confused, it was over already! It didn’t hurt at all. I felt the lidocaine shot, which helps numb the area for the bigger needle. But then nothing but a little pressure after that.
The other interesting thing about this time around was that I think I could feel more than when I was in the UK. Probably because I had less of the medicine injected into me (once, instead of twice). No pain, just some feelings of pressure, pushing, tugging, movement on my abdomen.
Once I’m numb from the chest down they put up a curtain blocking my view from my chest down. It gets hooked up to two tall metal poles and is much wider than by body, so it shields Steve’s view too. He would be sitting right next to my head.
I had three female surgeons, who all introduced themselves to me before the surgery. One was a more junior doctor, who had first come to meet us in the prep room. She told me she wouldn’t be doing the surgery itself, but was part of the team. Then there was a doctor who was the main one doing the operation. And finally an attending surgeon, Dr. Nicols, who basically oversees the operation and supervises the main surgeon. She had the legal and ethical responsibilities.
It was really interesting to hear them talking during the operation. The attending surgeon would point things out, like, “that’s the bladder so be careful when you cut there” and “I think that’s scar tissue, try doing this or that” (but with actual medical terms, obvs). Then the actual operating surgeon would also be explaining to the junior doctor what she was doing.
Some people might hate that kind of thing but I found it interesting. Lying on your back with your arms out, with spinal anesthetic undergoing an operation isn’t the most comfortable situation. Physically it can feel close to passing out, so most of the time I tried to close my eyes and focus on my breathing. I certainly couldn’t hold a conversation with Steve! But I did enjoy hearing them talk and trying to picture what they were working on.
This operation took a little longer than my first because there was so much scar tissue to work through. I am grateful we weren’t in an emergency situation because the surgeon was able to take her time and cut through my layers carefully.
The Birth
It wouldn’t be a child of Steve’s without a musical entrance to the world. Unfortunately, he was hoping to do all his prep for the baby’s arrival in the week of paternity leave he was taking before my due date. A week he never got to have. So we had no playlist for baby Nico. We made do with the playlist from Max’s birth!
It wouldn’t be a child of mine without a Beyonce entrance into the world. During my spinal injection, Steve wasn’t in the room yet and the medical team asked me what music I’d like to listen to while we get ready. I couldn’t think of anything special, I just said, “Beyonce, anything by Beyonce”. So while the spinal happened I was listening to Single Ladies.
Once Steve came in he played the music from his phone on a small speaker we brought in. He just held it next to my head and rested it on my pillow. Of course I had to tell him to turn it down. He likes it too loud for me!
When the surgeons finally got to Nico, it seemed like it was a little tricky for them to get a good hold of him to pull him out. I think I remember the attending surgeon saying she needed a vacuum, or something.
I tried to pay extra attention to the feeling in my abdomen. I wanted to see if I could feel the moment of him leaving my body. But I didn’t. Just as with Max’s birth, it wasn’t like a significant relief of pressure or a big dramatic feeling.
The song playing at the time: Baby by Ariel Pink.
I knew they had him out by what was being said. I waited to hear him cry. Please cry baby. The 10-15 seconds felt like 2-3 minutes! Anyone who has birthed a child (or has been a birth partner) can tell you how anxiety-inducing it can be when the baby doesn’t cry right away. It’s a good sign that they’re alive for one! For 9 months they haven’t used their lungs, they’ve never breathed before. That’s your first breath baby! Cry it out!
He cried. Phew!
I could hear the fluid in his cries. It made me a little nervous. Was he OK? Is that normal? No one in the room sounded worried, so I told myself not to be. I knew that it was somewhat normal for a baby to have a bit of liquid in his lungs, since he was just inside a sack of fluid for 9 months. I read later that crying and breathing for the first time helps expel the amniotic fluid that was in the baby’s lungs.
Finally, a nurse appeared from behind the curtain. He was holding Nico up, like showing me a dress I might be picking out at a fancy boutique. “Yes, we’ll have that one, thanks.”
Weighing our little 6lb 12oz baby
He took Nico to a side of the room, under a giant heat lamp and cleaned him up a bit. Apparently, the nurse asked Steve if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord. He did not. I think that kind of thing might creep him out a bit, and it certainly isn’t significantly meaningful to either of us.
The Right Choice
Nico was brought over to me and placed on my chest. I tried nursing, but was having a lot of difficulty positioning him while I was lying flat on my back. Eventually it was just more annoying and stressful to have Nico on me, because I felt like he would fall! So, I asked Steve to hold him.
Holding, nursing, and having skin-to-skin contact as soon as possible after birth is highly encouraged, which is why we tried it. With Max, they wouldn’t allow it because it was too cold in the operating room, and with me being operated on my body wouldn’t be able to help regulate his temperature. That was in the UK, and I guess over here they felt different.
Meeting Nico for the first time.
After I was all sewn up, I was wheeled to a recovery bay where they check my blood pressure for an hour to make sure I’m OK. Nico and I had plenty of skin-to-skin contact and we had a successful latch to get him some food.
I remember during a change of staff, the nurse who had been caring for me was telling the incoming nurse “She had a repeat c-section, it was the right choice.” And I really didn’t know why she had said that. I really wish I had asked.
Was it the right choice because my waters broke but I didn’t have any contractions so labor might not have been quick enough had I decided to try for a vaginal birth?
Was it the right choice because there was so much scar tissue and it took a long time to get to the baby, that if I had needed an emergency c-section it would have caused problems?
I will never know why it was the right choice, according to the nurse. But, as someone who always worries if I’m doing the right thing or not, I really appreciated hearing her say that! It makes me feel more assured I was doing the right thing for me and my baby.
And weeks later, as I write this, I’m healing well from the surgery. I had some pain for about a week, but no major complications or problems. I ended up lifting Max pretty early on, despite the instruction not to lift anything heavier than my newborn for 6 weeks. It was hard to avoid!
Everyone’s birth experience is different. This was mine and I wouldn’t change it. I’m happy with the choice I made, and I’m really grateful for the high quality of care from the medical team at Kaiser in Oakland. I feel extremely blessed by the chosen family who helped care for Max while we were in the hospital. Plus our actual family who flew out right away to support us.
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