In early August, we packed up our belongings and moved out of the Fishbowl and into a 3-bedroom apartment on the other side of Oakland. That sentence completely oversimplifies it. Anyone who has moved a house full of stuff will know that it’s no easy task.
And then you add two young kids into the mix. Chaos!
While you’re at it, add in 3 covid infections. Stop!
That was our moving experience. Yikes!
A few weeks before we moved house, Max tested positive for Covid. We were grateful that he had no symptoms. But we really hadn’t expected to have a toddler home during crunch time for packing up the house in preparation for the move. It sucked our time and our energy. We also knew that this time, it was much more likely that Steve & I would also get Covid (when Max had Covid in Sept 2021, we didn’t catch it). And sure enough, we did.
Preparing for the Move
We didn’t want to tell Max too early about the move, because he may not have understood it. A week before we moved we got the keys to our new apartment and went to measure the space and decide what furniture to take and where to put it. Max came with us because he was out of daycare with Covid.
Max was really excited in the new space. He happily helped measure by holding one end of the measuring tape on the floor while Steve crossed to the other side of the room. Steve wanted to hype up the elevator in the building, so he over exaggerated how exciting it was to be in the elevator. The rest of the week Max talked more and more about our new apartment and the “elligator” (mushed elevator and alligator!) . He began to understand why taped up boxes were piling up.
I had received advice from friends that the best thing to do to ease a move was to set up Max’s room first. I tried to make sure that all of the stuff for the boys was easy to find, and that we kept the essentials (beds, favorite toys, spare clothes, books) with us the day of the move. In advance, I purchased some alphabet decals and vehicle decals to decorate the room. I also ordered blackout shades for the windows, because keeping the room dark for naps is very important.
The day before we moved I spent a rushed 20 minutes sticking the alphabet to the wall. Love the decals, but wish it was one big sticker instead of ~78 individual ones (capital & lowercase letters plus a little drawing for each letter). It pained me not to mark out or level the stickers. But I know that ultimately, Max won’t care if the alphabet’s a little wonky. I promised myself never to look at it ever again.
 |
| Don't look at it. |
The Big Day, A Busy Morning
On the morning of the move, Steve was really not feeling well with Covid. I had mostly recovered from my mild infection. So, I offered for him to lay in the hammock all morning while I packed up the kitchen (the final room to pack) and worked with the movers. He gladly accepted and spent most of the time asleep.
The moving team arrived at 8am. Thank god for movers! This team was so great. They masked up, worked hard, and stayed until the job was done! They were a great team and very friendly. If you’re in the Bay area, I highly recommend Sweet Lemon.
Steve’s parents were in town and were cautiously seeing us outside with masks on. They offered to take Nico and Max (who was negative again) to a playground for the morning so they’d be out of the way of the movers. They would come home for their midday nap at the old house, once the movers had left.
The timing worked out pretty great. However, I think Max had spent so long outside that he was kind of overwhelmed and he began to cry hysterically as they left the playground. My father-in-law called me and I said you’ll just have to stick him in the stroller and he’ll probably calm down. He did not calm down, however. He actually threw up all over himself!
So in the middle of the move, my poor 2 year old returned home covered in vomit and crying hysterically. Luckily, I had spare clothes for him, his favorite lovey, and the children’s tylenol. With a little love and comfort, he went right to sleep for his nap.
A Moment for Memories
Once the boys were napping, Steve and I switched places. I got into the hammock. He went to the new apartment to let the movers in, show them where we wanted the big furniture pieces, and did a little unpacking.
I got to enjoy the sunshine and half a sandwich from Ike’s (Steve had the other half). My legs felt wobbly from all the running around I had done that morning. I was grateful for the rest.
Once Nico was up, I played with him in our now empty bedroom. The space looked so different without all our stuff. It brought up memories of when we first bought the house.
I remembered bringing Porter, our late miniature schnauzer, to the house for the first time. He was so excited by the carpet in the upstairs rooms. He ran in circles across the whole top floor and rolled over repeatedly. At the time, we were living in a small apartment with hardwood floors which he slipped on and often refused to sit on because it was cold on his butt! I think that’s why he was so excited by the carpet.
I thought about how our room looked before we had Max, about all the room layouts we had tried. So many moments and memories were made in that space. I felt the sadness bubbling up from deep inside. Steve and I created so much in this house. We built a community, life-long friendships, and started our family here. It’s special.
Feeling sentimental in an empty room.
Before I could get too sentimental, Max woke up from his long nap. I turned on Mickey Mouse to give me plenty of time to pack the last of our things. He seemed to be feeling much better.
Steve came back to pick us up around 5pm and we left the Fishbowl as a family for the last time. As we finally pulled out of the gate, I waved goodbye to the house and then the tears came.
I just needed, in that moment, to let the feelings be felt. It had been a really hard week with both of us having Covid and having to prepare everything for the move. On top of that, it had been a long and very tiring day. And we were leaving the first home we built together. It just felt so sad.
But, in true Amelia fashion, I had to focus on the next task at hand. What we would do when we arrive at the new house. I made a mental list and coordinated with Steve on the plan. Set up their beds, cook dinner, and do bedtime routine as normal as possible.
A full car as we leave the house. Max's mattress is in the middle of the car!
We arrived to a bit of chaos, with boxes everywhere and the moving team putting furniture back together. It seemed like the best idea to hide ourselves in the boys room, which Steve had spent time setting up nicely for them. We even fed Max his dinner in the bedroom.
The moving team didn’t leave until after 7pm. It had been a long day for them too. We bought them burgers and fries for dinner and tipped them well. They were champions!
A huge appreciation shout out to our friend, CrAsh, who dropped off some delicious soup that we ate for dinner that night. And shout out to my in-laws for all their help during the week and on the day (plus post-move unpacking they could do once we were negative for covid!).
Soup saved the day!
Settling In
Prior to the move, Steve and I were both worried about how such a big change could impact Max. Both moving to a new house, out of his cozy room, and the change to sleeping in the room with Nico - who sleeps through the night about 4 out of 7 nights.
At a party, I asked another parent friend whose young children share a room for advice, “they’ll figure it out,” he said, “kids always do.” He was right.
Max seems to have taken it all in his stride. On the first night, they both slept peacefully through the night. During the first week, Max had some night wakings and some bedtime refusals, but nothing too bad. In general he seems to really like his new room and enjoys being in there with Nico.
Nico’s night crying doesn’t always bother Max either. Sometimes Max just sleeps through it. One night, Max was awake while Nico was crying and not settling. Max stayed in his bed, snuggling his racoon lovey. Steve comforted Max and told him that we’re trying to let Nico learn to self-sooth. In response, Max said “Nico needs fox,” - fox is the lovey we gave to Nico, but since he’s still young he doesn’t usually sleep with a toy. Steve took Max’s suggestion and placed the fox in Nico’s hands. Sure enough that calmed him down, and Nico fell asleep again.
All of this makes me think about how much thought we put into the transition for Max and we really weren’t concerned for Nico. And it’s not just because he’s so young. I think if it was happening when Max was 6 months we’d have worried too. But Nico is the second baby, and we know that Max made it safe and sound to 2 regardless of all the ups and downs. So we’re less concerned when we switch things up for Nico. He’ll be fine, we tell each other. And he is fine.
Home Sweet Home
Max really likes “our new apartment” and the only signs that the move has maybe interrupted something for him is that he’s been extra clingy to me. He wants me to do bath time and read stories and put him to bed. It was never really like this before. It’s either the move, or it could be because when Steve was really tired and sick with Covid, for over a week, I did bedtime with Max so Steve could rest (it’s a lot more work than Nico’s bedtime routine!). Maybe he got used to just me doing it.
It’s really lovely being in our new home. I’m really enjoying the fact that Steve and I no longer share a room with the boys! I love that there are tons of windows and we get a lot of good light. Beautiful sunrises over the hills, and lovely skies at sunset. I’m really loving the neighborhood. We’re very close to Lake Merritt and have enjoyed numerous trips to the playground, walks, and visiting the nearby Farmers’ Market.
I’m sad that we don’t see or know our neighbors yet. I meet people who live in the building occasionally, but they seem less interested in making connections, more comfortable with simple greetings. I want to host a pool party and invite everyone in the building to come mingle with neighbors. But unfortunately the pool is green and nasty right now because they’re in the process of switching to a new maintenance company. It will have to wait!
The sunset on our moving day
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