Goodnight Mom

If you haven’t read my previous post about the risks of a trial of labor after cesarean compared to having a second cesarean, it might provide greater context to this post . To summarize, I was told by my doctor that if I wanted to try a vaginal birth I would have a 61% chance of it being successful.  Sometimes referred to as TOLAC (trial of labor after cesarean) and VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). In part one, I laid out the medical risks and my thoughts about them. I think deeply about my decisions, and this is one I have taken very seriously. I have laid out the risks pretty clearly for myself, and some seem more real and more threatening than others (the thought of a uterine rupture is much more graphically scary than the concept of post-surgical infection). But there are other factors that I’m also considering, beyond the medical risks.   For example, how it could impact having more children? Whichever decision I make, the outcome may have repercussions on the ability to carr

On the second visit to my OBGYN, Dr K, she told me that according to a medical calculation I have a 61% chance of having a successful vaginal birth if I wanted to try labor. Sometimes referred to as TOLAC (trial of labor after cesarean) and VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I was only 12 weeks pregnant at the time. It felt super early in the pregnancy to even think about birthing plans, but she wanted to bring it up to give me plenty of time to think about it. Her job as my doctor is to share information about the risks. Both options, another c-section and VBAC, come with potential risks. For the past 18 weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out what the risks are and what I feel most comfortable with. I’ve been trying to figure out what is the best decision for me and this baby. The most up-to-date figure I can find is from 2013, when the average success rate for women in the U.S. who attempted a trial of labor after one previous cesarean was 70%.  Most literature encourages TOLAC/VBAC

It didn’t take long after Max was born to hear the follow up question, “do you think you’ll have another one?” It’s a strange question. Some people get upset being asked so soon after having their first (I’ve read stories of women being asked this mere hours after delivering their first child!) I don’t mind it because I think we ask questions like this because we’re curious, nosey human creatures. The success of homosapians has depended on our ability to gossip and chat with and about each other, and fire, and regenerative farming, and a few other things, like science etc.  I always knew that if Steve and I were having at least one baby, we’d be having more. Why? Because I loved having sisters, and Steve also loves having sisters. I’m a middle child of three. Steve is the second of four --or as he likes to say, upper middle class. We’re pretty close with our siblings and enjoy those relationships and connections. I'm on the right. When I finally decided I wanted to and was “ready”

  I wrote previously about what it was like having a baby at the onset of a global pandemic. I never expected to write a post about Max having Covid! I’ll get to the details, but so you don’t panic, the long story short is that he had Covid-19, he didn’t need to be hospitalized, he’s OK now.  Pre-covid, Max wasn't one for snuggles and stillness The Height of Panic I remember in the early days, when Max was first born, I worried so much about this new, dangerous virus. I was anxious whenever Steve and my Dad left the house to go to the grocery store. They wore scarves around their mouths and gardening gloves on their hands. Steve would strip off his clothes and throw them in the washing machine as soon as he got home.  All I could think about was whether my new child would even make it to his first birthday or would we all die a horrible death from this disastrous plague?  At the time I craved real life stories. I would seek out stories of people who had caught Covid, or whose love