Goodnight Mom

I didn’t think I would do it again , but I’m proud to say I have flown alone with my two kids for a second time and lived to tell the tale. And honestly, this time I think it was one of the best flights I’ve ever had with them.  We had no tantrums or crying, and neither boy spent the whole flight watching a screen. It felt like a win. I was definitely tired at the end, but not emotionally drained like I have been on past flights. Flight One - 4 against 2 I flew to England in early August with Steve, the boys, and my in-laws. We had two adults per child, plenty of coverage! However, it was still an exhausting flight simply because we had to wake up really early for the 8am flight.  I remember, at one point, I was so tired my eyes were closing but I couldn’t sleep because Nico wasn’t napping. My mother in law was dosing next to me so I couldn’t ask her to take a shift with him. Luckily, Nico was obsessed with the new toy I bought him for the flight - a small Rubble in a car f...

There’s a lot that can be said about the difficulties of parenting young kids. I feel very conscious that my blog tends to be focused on the harder moments. Most likely, it’s because I find writing as a useful tool for processing and reflection. But, there are, of course, great moments. My mom often talks about the good times, how much fun we had when my sisters and I were little. I asked her once if it was ever difficult for her (because it never sounds like it!). “Oh, I cried every day,” she said, implying the difficulty. It’s not that my mom, or other parents whose kids are much older, block out the hard parts. It’s just the memory of the simple love, connection and dependency is much stronger and worth cherishing. I’m here, on any given day, dreaming of getting away for a few nights so I can sleep for 8 hours, wake up at a reasonable time and not have to take care of anyone. My kids are dreaming of spending every minute they can with me. My mom has said to me many times, “you’re th...

My kids are toddlers and they have big feelings. Big fucking feelings. Both of them at age 3 and 1 are expressing those emotions on levels that seem absurd to me. One minute they’re running back and forth laughing and screaming with joy together. The next they’re fighting over a toy, and whoever loses acts like their whole tiny life is over. This is normal. It’s normal for toddlers to have big feelings, and it’s absolutely normal that they don’t know how to handle it. And do you know what else is normal? That I don’t know how to handle it. Little Monster An Example… A few weeks ago, I picked up Max and Nico from school/daycare and we had a good time on the long car ride home (30 mins, they get a snack). Once in the house, we played for a while and then I began to make dinner. I told Max he could watch his favorite show - Spidey and his Amazing Friends - while we ate. Sometimes this helps get him to the table and actually eat. When I sat down with them to eat, Max decided he didn’t li...