Goodnight Mom

A recent study puts the average cost of raising a child at $20,813 annually. The Bay Area (San Francisco, Oakland, Berkeley) was listed as the number one most expensive place to raise a child in the USA. Here they calculate the average annual cost of raising a child to be $35,647. That’s more than the starting salary at the first office job I had in the States (in 2012)! Plenty is written about the financial costs of raising children. Some articles are about the overall cost of raising children , others focus more specifically on the cost of childcare . The case of childcare costs is complex. Parents need childcare in order to work, but are they earning enough money to cover the cost of childcare? Can it be justified? I wanted to write more about the emotional rollercoaster of hiring childcare, specifically occasional babysitters. Friends of mine with young kids, and myself, have experienced so many difficulties finding adequate and reliable childcare. Especially for babysitting, when...

This is part two in a series about our experience hosting an au pair through Au Pair Care. You can read the first part here . In October, 2022, we welcomed our au pair, M, into our family. She lived with us for 4 months. In that time, she provided excellent childcare. We got to know her and learned so much about Turkey. I started Turkish language lessons on Duolingo so I could say good morning and “how are you?”  in her language. I think my attempts to remember the pronunciations tickled her. I was also learning strange sentences, like “Tavşan kaplumbağayı yedi.” It was a fun thing to bond over!  M brought us a beautiful Turkish coffee set when she came and would often brew me a cup while I was working in the apartment. Keeping me caffeinated! I especially loved the Turkish food she occasionally prepared. I still like to cook lentil soup (Kırmızı Mercimek Çorbası), which was her favorite, and a tomato and white bean stew (Fasulye).   Being an Au Pair Mom There were a lo...

In October, 2022, we welcomed our au pair, M* into our family. M, a 24-year-old from Istanbul, Turkey,  lived with us and provided childcare for Nico and Max (when he wasn't in daycare). Steve and I loved having another adult in the house and we enjoyed getting to know M. She taught us a lot about Turkish culture, made us some delicious Turkish meals and of course, Turkish coffee. And she was great with the kids! There’s a lot that can be shared about our au pair experience, so I’ll split this post into two parts. Part one will be about the process and general experience of having an au pair. Part two will dig into some of the challenges and why we ended up with a broken match after 4 months. I won't be sharing photos of M here, because that feels too personal and like exposing her to something. Anyone who knows me personally will have either met her or seen photos on my social media. I emphatically want to say how much I appreciate M and care about her happiness. Our au pair m...

It’s been a while since I posted anything on this blog. When I’m done working and taking care of the kids and cleaning up our mess for the day, getting on my computer to write about my thoughts and feelings is the last thing I’ve wanted to do. Instead, I’ve gone to the gym, had dinner with friends, or watched The Crown on Netflix, or wandered into the rabbit hole of obsessing over & consuming all things Meghan and Harry (I’m done with that though!).  But, I do love this blog. The outlet it’s given me to express myself about parenthood. The impact it’s had on the folks who read it. (Thank you, by the way, for reading and to those of you who have reached out to respond). So, I have returned to write about something controversial but weighing on my mind. Parenting young kids kind of sucks. In my opinion. If I had $1 for every person who told me we were in the “best years of our lives” or the “best time” of parenthood, I would be able to pay for full time childcare until they both ...