Back in February 2021, Steve and I were exhausted by the pandemic (anyone else??). He surprised me one evening by sharing a ton of research he’d done on a possible trip to the big island of Hawaii. We’d wanted to go there for years, but had always hesitated because we never had enough PTO to make the cost of the trip worthwhile.
But this time, we had more flexibility in our schedules and Steve thought it would be a great way to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary. We figured, by November 2021 most folks would be vaccinated and Covid would be much less of a concern (sigh… as I write this Omicron is doing a number on us). “I don’t need any details, just book it all, I’m 100% in,” I told him.
The thought of scuba diving in the coral reef off the Hawaii coast was a beautiful day dream that occupied my mind. Steve found us an AirBnb in Kona on the big island across the street from Kahalu'u Beach Park – a place known for great snorkeling and beginner surfing conditions. It would be perfect for us to get into the ocean every day. Max could have fun at the beach too, there were some small rock pools to explore.
Ultimately, I wasn’t able to scuba dive because by the time we got to Hawaii I was 7 months pregnant. But I was able to snorkel, and that was beyond amazing!
How to vacation with a toddler: Finding the right home base
Some people go to Hawaii and tour the island, staying at vacation rentals, hotels, campsites, or hostels. We knew that wasn’t going to be our vibe, not with a toddler. It was unlikely we’d want to hike the volcano with him! We decided we would stay in one location for our whole trip.
A vacation rental where we have our own kitchen and living space is the perfect type of home base for us. It means we can have similar routines as the ones we have at home. Max is in his own bedroom, we have our usual breakfast foods (instead of going out to eat), and he has a full space to play in - not just a small hotel room.
Steve found a condo right across from Kahalu’u beach. We could see the palm trees and the waves hitting the beach from our lanai (balcony). Max loved having breakfast every morning on the balcony. He could see the waves, hear the birds sing, and sometimes we’d spot the local rooster who liked to hang out at the beach.
The view from our balcony
Max loved the local beach. There was a barrier of volcanic rock between the pebbly beach and the ocean waves, this created a little pool that he could play in safely, the water only reaching his shins. He called it a puddle, so that became the name for the beach. In the mornings, we’d get ready and tell him it was time to go to the puddle.
Max entertained himself by picking up rocks and throwing them in the water, a game we call “Rock, Splash”. He also enjoyed watching the tiny baby fish zip around in the water. We visited a bunch of other beaches on the Kona coast as well.
The Puddle at Kahalu'u Bay
Two Steps beach was known for excellent snorkeling, and easy access (just take two steps and you’re in the water!). Here the “puddles” were extra exciting for Max, with small fish and lots of little crabs to watch. Steve and I took turns watching him and snorkeling.
Hapuna Beach was a beautiful white sand beach where we spent a long morning, before driving to the northern tip of the island on our way to Hilo. Here, Max fell in love with sand. He would lie on his tummy and wave his arms around in the sand, kind of like a reverse sand angel. While I was watching him, I saw him pause for a moment and decide to take a mouthful! He definitely regretted it, but he didn’t cry!
Steve and I took turns snorkeling and we saw a sea turtle in the water feeding off a little rocky area. That was very cool. I sometimes wished we could snorkel at the same time, but on the few occasions we had a babysitter and could have done that, we preferred just to stay on the beach together.
One of our favorite beaches for Max was the Kamakahonu (King Kam) Beach. This beach is a really small cove in the heart of Kona, right next to a Marriott Hotel. There were a lot of other families there, and Max always found other kids to play with. Or play alongside, I should say! This beach was also a white sands beach, and because it was a small cove the waves were tiny, just kissing the shore softly, making it easy for him to play in the surf.
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| King Kam Beach |
It was at this beach one morning I spotted a small box jellyfish swim past my leg as I was holding Max in the water. I quickly left the water and Googled what to do if you get stung by a jelly. I didn’t want to stop Max’s fun, so he continued to play in the sand with Steve and a couple of kids. I relaxed in a chair under the umbrella with my feet in the waves.
After about an hour at the beach, Max suddenly turns to me from the water and says “boo boo” pointing at his foot. He runs towards me and when I pick him up, he starts crying. Steve takes Max as I search the surf where he had just been and see what looks like an almost dead jellyfish tumbling in the gentle waves.
My Google search had told me (no, don’t pee on it) that vinegar was best for neutralizing the sting. I ran over to a little hut on the beach that rented out surf boards, kayaks and snorkel gear, and asked them if they had any. Of course they did. They kindly let us use their vinegar, I poured it over Max’s foot which was starting to show a red rash wrapping around his ankle.
Steve tried his best to distract Max from the pain. The vinegar seemed to help, but it wasn’t until a stranger on the beach offered him a small green ball that he stopped crying. He was happy and well enough to walk around kicking the ball as Steve and I packed up our gear to leave.
We warned a few other families on the beach, and some of them decided it was time to hang out at the hotel pool instead! We also went home and enjoyed the pool at our condo instead. I loved that pool because it overlooked the beach, and it was easier to handle Max there. He wasn't going to eat sand, or wander too far into the ocean. He just liked to walk around and swim a little.
Max had a wetsuit on because the water was so cold!
How to vacation with a toddler: Managing all the Stuff (aka Equipment)
When we visited upstate New York with Steve’s family, his sister had rented cribs and high chairs from a local woman through a website called BabyQuip.com. Someone just drops off anything you need at your local address and they pick it up when you’re done. Easy. I knew it made more sense for us to do that in Hawaii then pay to check our pack ‘n’ play on the plane! That would have been way more hassle than it would have been worth.
The only two bulky things that we took with us were our stroller, which you can gate check fro free, and our car seat, which we checked. We knew we would want the car seat right away after landing, so it seemed best to just take it with us instead of renting one.
Our “provider”, as they’re called, Melissa, showed up a few hours after we checked in to the AirBnb with the pack ‘n’ play for Max to sleep in, a sound machine and a monitor. She also brought us a highchair, and a beach package with all the things we could possibly need (chairs, toys, umbrella, cooler). She included a little packet of the instruction manuals, and a box of chocolates! It made everything super easy.
The unfortunate thing was that we also found a lot of these items already available at the AirBnb, they just hadn’t been advertised! We ended up finding beach chairs, beach toys, a cooler, umbrella, a high chair, and a pack ‘n’ play! In fairness, the ones from BabyQuip were in much better condition, so I was grateful we had them - especially the sleeping stuff.
First piece of advice - if you’re staying at an AirBnb, ask the host what’s available. Don’t assume they list everything.
Second piece of advice - check out BabyQuip.com, they have everything you could need including car seats, beds, toys, and a grocery shopping service.
How to vacation with a toddler: Get your plane strategy together
Two weeks before we flew to Hawaii, we also took a trip across the country to visit family in New York. This was fortuitous because it let us practice our strategy for keeping Max entertained on a plane for 5-6 hours, and helped Max get used to it.
On our trip to Hawaii we had only booked two seats, taking advantage of the free flight for a child-under-two in lap. Here are some of the top tips for keeping a kid entertained on the plane:
Window seat
The window provided a lot of entertainment for Max! He sat on Steve’s lap in the window seat and looked out as the plane prepared for take-off. He named everything he saw, calling the linked up baggage cars “trains”. When we took off, Max watched the plane speed up and leave the ground. He would say “fast, up, sky, cloud”.
Water for Take Off
Definitely have some water on hand during take off and landing in case their ears hurt during the change in pressure. We found that it didn’t seem to bother Max on the way up as much as it did on the way down. Water or a snack he could chew and swallow helped clear that pressure in the ears.
Snacks
Regular eating patterns can go out the window so it’s really important to have lots of snack options. We had raisins and crackers, clementines, little sandwiches (cream cheese or peanut butter), fruit squeeze pouches, little toddler cookies. Steve is also an expert at rationing out pieces of food to make it last a good 20 minutes.
Screen Time
If it works for you, go for it! We don’t have an iPad or anything like that for Max, but on our flight home there was a girl his age across the aisle who could only be consoled by the screen. She watched Finding Nemo, Moana, and Lilo & Stitch, bouncing between them with help from her parents. Her mom was actually able to read a book!
When Max got a little restless, we used our phones on very low volume to play his favorite movie, Vivo. But in general Max was entertained with toys, books, the window, and us.
Let go of nap schedule
In the past we’ve been anxious about getting Max to nap somewhat on schedule, which didn’t work out at all. He’s too overstimulated on the plane and the loud announcements every 5 minutes don’t help.
We have come to expect that there will be a 20 minute period of extra whining, wriggling and discomfort before he finally passes out. He will then only sleep in our arms for an hour, not his usual 2-hour nap. We accept it, it is what it is. Since Max is not one to snuggle often, it’s actually really nice to hold him while he sleeps on the plane.
On the flight home, Max was 2 hours late for his nap when we took off. He was so tired that he fell asleep while looking out of the window, without any fussing. Thanks window!
Don’t be embarrassed if your toddler behaves like a toddler
It’s definitely hard for me when Max is whining or crying a lot because I can feel embarrassed and like I’m imposing on the people around us. But you know what? He’s a child, not an adult, so you can’t expect him to be quiet and understand plane social etiquette yet. He also has every right to be on the plane, just as much as any adult. I remind myself of that.
It was funny, on our way home we got on the plane and took our seats next to a woman who had the aisle seat. I left to go to the bathroom before take off. According to Steve, she got up with her bag, looked at him and said “It’s not because of you” and left the plane. We laughed about it later wondering if she had left because there were so many kids on this flight, or if something else was truly going on. You know the old joke about relationship breakups, if they say “It’s not you, it’s me,” it usually is you!
New and favorite toys!
Max was really into tractors and general construction vehicles in November, so I purchased a set of 5 small construction vehicles. I didn’t show them to him until we were on the plane. He loved them right away and spent ages driving them around. We just had to make sure he wasn’t banging too much on the seat in front of him!
We also made sure Max had his racoon lovey, the toy he cuddles when he’s napping. I tied a toy clip around its neck and clipped it to Max’s sweater so he wouldn’t drop it on the floor of the plane. I also added a sticker with my email address in case we did lose it. Thank goodness Racoon survived the trip and is still with us!
We also had a few of his favorite books. The poke-a-dot books are really good at his age, he loves using his hands. Obviously, carting around heavy books is no fun, so we traveled with soft bath books that weighed barely anything.
To carry his toys, we used a small backpack that Max had received as a gift full of musical instruments for his birthday earlier in the year. We did not bring any instruments on the plane. I don’t recommend it, I think it’s against the rules and plane etiquette! Max wasn’t old enough to reliably carry his own bag, so we used a carabiner to clip it onto our backpacks.
How to vacation with a toddler: Handling Time Zones
We have been blessed by the baby gods, and tend to find that after a few days Max just naturally swings into the time zone we’re in. When we went to NY, we tried to keep him only an hour off his usual schedule, since it was a short trip and would make it easier when we returned to California. But by the second day he was on his usual schedule, just on NY time. And he seemed to have no problem switching back when we got back to CA.
Hawaii is two hours behind California, and again this didn’t impact Max significantly. I think the long travel day tired him out so he slept really well the first night and just woke up only slightly before 7am local time (which is his usual wake up time).
Maybe we have a magic baby. But this isn’t always the case. We definitely try to prepare ahead of time by slightly and gradually shifting his schedule at home in preparation for a trip. Even if you can get them an hour in the right direction it can really help!
How to vacation with a toddler: Don’t splurge on vacation clothes
The trouble with going to a tropical climate during a winter month is that it can be hard to find the right clothes in stores. We struggled to find shorts for Max in the right size. We took two pairs of shorts, plus a few swim shorts that he could wear even if we weren’t swimming.
While we were in Hawaii, I was so tempted to get us all matching outfits and have our professional photos taken on the beach. Like this. Steve absolutely refused to entertain the idea. But he did find a cute Hawaiin outfit for Max, with shorts, which helped us add to his summer-time wardrobe options.
Max wore a lot of his clothes multiple days in a row and they just got super dirty and that was fine. He mostly wanted to be at the beach getting dirty and wet, so he spent a lot of time in his swimwear. The benefit of having an AirBnb was that we could do our own laundry.
I did get a family photo at the puddle! Courtesy of our friend George!
How to vacation with a toddler: Hire a babysitter!
It was perhaps one of the biggest expenses while we were in Hawaii, but definitely the most worthwhile: we hired a local babysitter for a handful of evenings and days. I did some research on local nanny services and went with Malihini Keiki Care. They find you a babysitter who is vetted and experienced and well known to them. You pay the babysitter directly, in our case we paid via Venmo. It was super easy.
We were told that the week of Thanksgiving was already booked out for vaccinated nannies, so we decided that we would be ok with an unvaccinated nanny. A few reasons, I had been boosted recently so felt a little bump of superpowers (remember, this is pre-Omicron). Max had Covid in September, so we felt somewhat confident he would have antibodies to help protect him against potential exposure. And the Malihini Keiki Care required weekly testing of their unvaccinated nannies.
Our nanny, Kelly, was so lovely. She was great with Max and adored him. After a few times together she told Steve and me that he would always hold a special place in her heart.
We hired Kelly for one morning, and a bunch of later afternoon/early evenings. This gave Steve and me the chance to do so many great things.
The first evening of freedom, we went on a night time snorkel excursion to feed manta rays with Hawaii Oceanic. This was a mind blowing experience! I highly recommend it to anyone in Kona. The rays are SO MUCH BIGGER than I could have imagined. They got so close that one grazed past my thumb and I felt some of its slimy flesh stuck under my fingernail. Gross.
Afterwards, we had dinner at a really nice restaurant, Jackie Rey’s Ohana Grill. Steve and I love a good dinner date. We take our time, ordering slowly. Enjoy a drink and an appetizer before we settle on which entree to order. That night, we enjoyed delicious fresh fish, and local vegetables, including mashed purple sweet potatoes from the island of Molokai.
Delicious dinner at Jackie Rey's
One morning, Kelly came over to take Max to the puddle so that Steve and I could go on a submarine adventure! I was kind of nervous being inside a small space with about 50 other people, but everyone had to prove vaccination, and have temperatures checked.
I sat next to a 7 year old boy who was clearly having the best time. That made me even more excited! We saw some beautiful fish, and even a little white tip shark resting in a shipwreck. The captain of the submarine told us all about the fish, and the stories of the shipwrecks, which were all pirate ships according to my neighbor. We descended over 100ft down to the sea floor.
The submarine was a lot of fun, but you get better views of the fish when you snorkel. Especially because certain colors in light get trapped further up, so when you’re deep everything looks blue-ish and dull. At the shallow snorkel waters you see more color. #science
When I think about the things we did, I don’t regret the submarine, but I wouldn't do it again. Whereas, I would definitely do the manta ray dive again!
Steve and I also took advantage of late afternoon/evenings of freedom by watching the sunset on various beaches. First we went to Honl’s Beach, which was really small and close to our AirBnb. Here we saw a turtle munching among a crop of rocks at the shoreline. It was challenging to get a decent photo with the way the sun was hitting the water.
The sunset from this beach was beautiful. Steve always insists that a sunset isn’t over when the ball drops. It’s about letting it marinate, you get some of the best skies filled with pinks, reds, and oranges after the sun goes below the horizon. I found these moments some of the most restful and rejuvenating. I felt so lucky to be in this beautiful place, and so grateful to be spending this time with Steve.
We finished a few of our nights with dinner at a casual restaurant downtown, Humpy’s Big Island Alehouse, opting to eat at the bar instead of waiting for a table. Everything there is open to the elements, so it was essentially dining outside. Here we enjoyed pretty decent food, and always met interesting people to chat to, and Steve had fun drinking beer!
Home Again
Once we were home again, Max spent weeks talking about his vacation. Mostly he liked to talk about the plane. How it went up and then down. It goes fast. He saw boats, clouds, and other planes from the window. He’s not obsessed with transportation vehicles. For Christmas he got a great book with a huge plane that has openable flaps showing the inside, the passengers and pilots. He loves it.
Sometimes he asks “Max on?” when we talk about planes. He wants to go again! For now he knows that soon Granny and Papa will take a plane to come visit. But until baby #2 is a little older, we’re grounded.
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