Goodnight Mom

Back in February 2021, Steve and I were exhausted by the pandemic (anyone else??). He surprised me one evening by sharing a ton of research he’d done on a possible trip to the big island of Hawaii. We’d wanted to go there for years, but had always hesitated because we never had enough PTO to make the cost of the trip worthwhile.  But this time, we had more flexibility in our schedules and Steve thought it would be a great way to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary. We figured, by November 2021 most folks would be vaccinated and Covid would be much less of a concern (sigh… as I write this Omicron is doing a number on us).  “I don’t need any details, just book it all, I’m 100% in,” I told him.  The thought of scuba diving in the coral reef off the Hawaii coast was a beautiful day dream that occupied my mind. Steve found us an AirBnb in Kona on the big island across the street from Kahalu'u Beach Park – a place known for great snorkeling and beginner surfing conditions...

If you haven’t read my previous post about the risks of a trial of labor after cesarean compared to having a second cesarean, it might provide greater context to this post . To summarize, I was told by my doctor that if I wanted to try a vaginal birth I would have a 61% chance of it being successful.  Sometimes referred to as TOLAC (trial of labor after cesarean) and VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). In part one, I laid out the medical risks and my thoughts about them. I think deeply about my decisions, and this is one I have taken very seriously. I have laid out the risks pretty clearly for myself, and some seem more real and more threatening than others (the thought of a uterine rupture is much more graphically scary than the concept of post-surgical infection). But there are other factors that I’m also considering, beyond the medical risks.   For example, how it could impact having more children? Whichever decision I make, the outcome may have repercussions on the a...